Beneath the General's Guise

Still Alive lol

Wed, 29 Apr 2026 13:53:35 GMT

Back when I was in college and worked in a bakery during the summer, one of the cake decorators showed me the basics after I finished tasks for the night and had nothing to do for two hours. A couple of weeks later, I helped decorate a cake order that was forgotten and no other decorators were working. I remember one of the bakers watching me (it took me an hour; I was so nervous) and when I finished, he said, "don't do too good of a job. Then they'll ask you to keep doing it." By the end of the week, I got promoted from baking prep to cake decorator.

Fast forward 20 years and I'm thinking of that same guy today, bc you will not believe what's happening in my life lolsob.

( Read more... )

That's all from me for now. Hope you lovelies have been doing well 💖 here's to a wonderful May!!

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Something Else of Our Own

Fri, 27 Mar 2026 13:57:00 GMT

AO3 has been experiencing more and more outages for one reason or another. Earlier this month, it was down unexpectedly for more than 24 hours. My heart goes out to all the volunteers who worked to remedy that. That is pure passion right there. And while I do love me some shitposts and memes (this one is my favorite), I've seen conversations crop up regarding the importance of not having everything stored in just one place, so in the likely event of AO3 going down again, there's a secondary place for fans to read fics.

I think that's a wonderful idea and something I have considered in the past. I used to crosspost to FFN, but it's UI is outdated and extra work, which wasn't worth it with what little interaction I was getting there (plus the content restrictions don't help). I used to post promo links here on Dreamwidth, but now I'm considering posting actual fics here as well as the links. Bc let's face it, out of all the non-ao3 options, I trust DW to survive the longest lol.

That said, I don't really know how to go about this. I have almost 500 fics on AO3 and I'm not motivated enough to crosspost ALL OF THEM here. I might do a select few from each year. Who knows. I'm also unsure of how to organize multichapter fics or series. I mean, yes, via tags, but I'd need to come up with a naming convention and stick with it.

I also just don't know if I have enough readers over here to actually warrant that. Like I'm happy to archive things and keep fics accessible, but I'm just one person with a full-time job and bills and blah blah blah. Honestly, if someone pinged me and asked for a copy of some fic while AO3 was down, I'd gladly send a doc bc I keep copies of everything on my laptop. But also modern fans seems to be averse to interacting with people directly, so hell if I know.

Anyhow, this is just me rambling and throwing spaghetti at a wall. But yeah... "I think it's dangerous to keep everything on Just One Site, even if it is a pretty damn good one" and "I'm like a pokemon with four abilities max and need to forget one before learning a new one" can exist together.

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Media Roundup: Ghost Trick

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 14:53:22 GMT

The 2022 film Everything Everywhere All At Once ("Runic, I thought this was going to be about Gho-" IM GETTING THERE) is a story that has stuck with me for a long time now. There are countless scenes that made me laugh, cry, and just stare in awe. One that comes to mind is near the end, when everything is kinda going to shit, and Waymond says, "The only thing I do know is that we have to be kind. Please be kind, especially when we don't know what's going on."

That's solid life advice, to be honest. It also continues to grab me in a chokehold whenever I dive into a new narrative. Against all the hardships and odds, seeing characters choose to be kind, especially when they have zero reason to offer that, hits me like a nailbat to the gut.

And that's what finishing Ghost Trick felt like.

It's hard to discuss this game without spoilers, and I've been stewing on how to even discuss it since finishing it a few weeks ago. It's honestly best to go in as blind as possible and just experience the story. I will say it took me A While for this game to sink its claws into me. Thankfully, I really loved the puzzle mechanics (and Missile), which kept me coming back. Otherwise, I would've dropped this game much sooner. The mystery of wtf is truly going on is interesting, but discovering the truth in the eleventh hour had me in tears.

Man. Video games. Fuckin love that good shit. Please give Ghost Trick a try. That's all I've got to say.

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RE: FTH 2026

Thu, 05 Mar 2026 12:04:40 GMT

Welp, auctions are live and bids are welcome! Once again doing my little song and dance (complete with jazz hands) for my offer. The details can be found over here, including what I'm open to write and NOT write, but here's a quick break down:

Fandoms? Arcane, FF7, and Deltarune
Fic type/length? One (1) new fic, ranging from 5-10k words
Can it get spicy? Oh yeah, absolutely
What else do you enjoy theme-wise? Angst, hurt/comfort, general horror vibes, slice of life moments after surviving the horrors, mutual pining and all the tension (resolved or unresolved)
Alright, but how much to win this sweet deal? Starting bid was $15, but highest bid as of posting this is $40, so you gotta beat that

On the flip side, if you're unable to bid, I'd appreciate spreading the word via one of my three promo posts on Tumblr! (Arcane | Final Fantasy VII | Deltarune)

Hokay, that's all from me. Happy bidding and thank you all for the support!!

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FTH 2026

Sat, 28 Feb 2026 12:51:38 GMT

Guess who's got two thumbs and is participating in Fandom Trumps Hate 2026? 👍 THIS GUY!!! 👍

I'm happy to announce that I am offering one (1) fanfic for either Arcane, Final Fantasy VII, or Deltarune. Like rarepairs or f/f? Want more character deep dive or worldbuilding? Enjoy getting your heart ripped out? Wanna see your faves go at it nasty? All of the above??? I'M YOUR DUDE!!!

Auction offers are now available for viewing! You can check out mine right over here on Dreamwidth. Bidding doesn't start until March 3rd at 8 AM EST, but if you're interested in bidding for me and have something in mind that's not listed on my page, please shoot me a message and ask! So long as it doesn't fall under my hard nope list, I'm pretty flexible.

I know a handful of my readers over the years have asked if I take commissions, which I don't, but this is the closest you'll get! Plus you'll be donating to an awesome cause, so it's a win-win!

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Welp that happened

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 14:46:15 GMT

Where the fuck did February go? I feel like it started yesterday and here we are.

Life's been busy with my new job. Still trying to balance shit out with that and writing. Also hoping that longer days/warmer weather will help with my moods, bc my poor light lamp can only do so much. I don't really have much to ramble about, but just dumping some pleasant highlights to keep my head above water.

My FTH auction page is set up! Bids won't happen until later this week, but I'm excited to see it's ready to go. Still need to make dumb promo graphics for self-promo posts.
Read a handful of good fics this month, as well as gave myself permission to just tab out of ones I didn't vibe with, despite praise from mutuals.
Enjoying The Once and Future Witches by Alix E. Harrow atm. I don't love it, but it's been good thus far. This is the second book I've read by her and it's making me PAINFULLY AWARE of every simile and metaphor holy fuck calm down girl.
Finished a fic for one zine, got accepted in another, and excited for the upcoming FFVI zine
Watched a bunch of movies with my bf. Out of the bunch, my favorite was Train Dreams. That devastated me in the best way.
Playing games, too. Still need to make separate posts about OFF and Ghost Trick, which were both excellent. Finished Digimon: Time Stranger with my bf (ton of fun, solid jrpg) and started the Trails in the Sky remake over the weekend, which is great bc I quit the OG game due to how garbage the tiny UI was and the combat didn't click with me.
My bf and I went out for sushi on Valentine's Day, which was a last-minute decision and really sweet and I'm glad we did it. Very quiet and delicious.

Hope you all are doing well too! And if you're dealing with this bullshit winter weather, godspeed and stay warm!

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Expecting the Worst, Hoping for the Best

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 14:25:13 GMT

I signed up for Fandom Trumps Hate last week. It's an event that I've kept tabs on for a while, but never participated in as a bidder or creator, mostly due to my active fandoms at the time not really be present. I always figured it wasn't worth signing up; I tend to write for smaller fandoms and ships, after all. But I've found myself writing for "bigger" fandoms/ships lately (I mean, at least in comparison to my stuff that never broke double digits in kudos), so if there was ever a time to try this out, now is pretty good, yeah?

I hope whoever bids on me is excited to have me write a thing for them. I've tried my best to be open with each of my fandom offerings in terms of characters and ships, just to have variety, but best-case scenario would be writing for a ship/character we both love. That said, it is a charity event and I wouldn't mind writing something outside of the box if it means a non-profit gets some money.

I think my biggest worry right now is that no one will bid on me at all. How much they donate doesn't really matter, tho I guess the more the better, but I'd hate for bidding to close and realize no one even showed up, so to speak. I mean, considering how many people are signing up to create, it's likely that a handful of creators won't receive any bids. Which isn't too terrible in the grand scheme of things. I'd get time back that I originally set aside to work on a FTH fic, but still.

Obviously I'm overthinking this before things have kicked off. No matter how hard I try, I'm always mentally preparing for worst-case scenarios. Kind of like a zine rejection. Which is funny, bc I opted to participate in this event in lieu of doing more zines as a way to help raise charity money in a more direct way. Still, rejection sucks. I just hope things go well for everyone involved.

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A Year in Review - 2025 Sure was a Rollercoaster

Thu, 22 Jan 2026 14:19:08 GMT

Well, 2025 was a mixed bag. Had some great highs, but also some shitty lows. I definitely struggled in the earlier part of the year; long story short, a massive project I had been working on for years at my old job was taken away from me and given to a random intern to work on within a month. I hadn't done anything wrong to prompt it (just a business decision higher-ups came up with), but it still took a shotgun point blank to my face in terms of motivation and confidence - not just at work, but with everything. Thankfully, I got my writing mojo back. Thanks, Toby Fox. Also got a new and better job!!

Now onto the 2025 writing goals stuff.

( 2025 goals. )

My new job has proved to be busy, hence the delay with getting this out, but I hope I can balance that with writing time for 2026. Working from home definitely helps. I'm grateful to not have to deal with traffic or digging my car out of snow or whatever.

( 2026 goals. )

I hope 2026 is treating everyone well so far! Whatever you're hoping to achieve this new year, I hope you knock it out of the park ♥️ best of luck, gang!

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Games of 2025

Mon, 19 Jan 2026 15:17:49 GMT

I flipped through my list of games play in 2025 and was, uh... kind of underwhelmed? It didn't help that I stopped playing as many after June, but there were a ton of smaller games I played, which were fun, but nothing to write home about (like Toem was cute, but I also forgot I played it until I read my list lol). I'm hoping to tackle a bunch of games I bought in 2025 for this year. Also just, you know, trying to play anything I purchase instead of letting it waste away on Mount Backlog. Anywho, here are some highlights from 2025 (the good and the bad, respectfully):

( Read more... )

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A Year in Review - Fics and Stuff for 2025

Sun, 18 Jan 2026 17:03:00 GMT

Number of fics written.
275,388 words across 40 fics. Posted about the same about as I did last yet, but with way more words.

Fandoms.
13 Sentinels: Aegis Rim, Arcane, Atelier Ryza, Deltarune, Final Fantasy (IV, VI, VII), Fire Emblem Fates, Spy x Family

Categories.

Gen - 3 (8%)
F/M - 19 (46%)
F/F - 2 (5%)
M/M - 14 (35%)
Multi - 2 (5%)

Ratings.

G - 8 (20%)
T - 17 (42%)
M - 1 (3%)
E - 14 (35%)

I also need to preface this year's edition of A Year in Review with the fact that uh... a particular fic has completely turned my life upside-down in the best way possible. I could literally list that fic as the answer for nearly every category unironically. That said, I wrote more than one fic this year lolsob so while I want to be honest and gush about this one fic I've somehow coughed up, I do want to highlight other fics that deserve the spotlight, so to speak. So don't mind me as I give two answers to more or less everything ~~and sorry not sorry for still talking about the pathetic TV man.~~

( Very late with this bc I've been busy with a new job and 2026 has uh... sure been a year so far. )

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Media Roundup: Pentiment

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 14:03:47 GMT

I have seen some criticism of games, especially RPGs, over the years regarding completionism. In short, gamers want to experience everything they can in the first playthrough without needing to play the game a second (third or fourth) time. Sometimes it's about side quests and other optional stuff, but I've seen a good chunk of posts/articles touching on dialogue options and miss-able scenes, especially if they reveal important narrative details about the plot, world, or even the characters. And it sucks to miss out on those tidbits. Imagine reading a book and having a fifty/fifty shot at reading 5 pages that reveal specific character backstory. And sure, games aren't books, but they still require an ample amount of time to absorb. Not everyone is willing to replay a 30-60 hour game. They just do not have the time, energy, and/or patience and I think that's valid.

And then there's Pentiment, which takes the very notion of FOMO and punches you in the face with it.

( Also I clapped and CHEERED when I saw Endris in the ending scene. He deserved a happy ending! )

Can you experience everything in one playthrough of Pentiment? Absolutely not. You never will. The game literally makes that impossible. But the game (bc it's written by Josh Fucking Sawyer) is a fucking masterclass at "your choices have consequences" to the point of flirting with Disco Elysium in terms of some of the best game writing I've ever seen (I'd also throw Fallout: New Vegas to that lineup, but that's cheating bc Josh Sawyer also wrote that lol). I firmly believe that you can never have "experience everything" and "your choices have consequences". And I think that's really beautiful. Because for all these massive games with countless activities, there's something profound about ignoring the all-you-can-eat buffet to pick one meal and taking your time to savor it.

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You Have One Job

Wed, 12 Nov 2025 14:20:10 GMT

So I finally threw up my hands figuratively the other day and ordered a light lamp. I unironically hope this does, in fact, fucking fix me. I've only used one once before, back when I was a teenager. I don't remember it helping me at all. But I also don't remember anything working, because I was a teenager. Here's hoping my consistency as an adult actually pays off. It's arriving today, which is... surprising, as it shipped yesterday with an ETA for Monday. I've been working in shipping/receiving for over a decade now and it still blows my mind how fast/slow things get from point A to point B. I'm not complaining. I just hope this lamp does something so I'm not like, crying multiple times a day for no reason other than "there's not enough sunlight".

I'll be honest - the only thing that's been getting me by from week to week lately is the game Dispatch. I'm extremely very burnt out with superhero stories, but something about this one just scratches a particular itch. If it wasn't by former Telltale Games devs, I probably would've given it a hard pass, but that's what actually hooked me in. I figured it would be a silly game. I didn't expect it to actually hook me in this hard.

( Very vague and minor spoilers, mostly just chatting about the overall themes and stuff. )

And I REALLY like Dispatch. It has zero right to be as genuinely good as it is. And I'm explaining this because my bf has been watching me play each episode and he's ON A FUCKING BUSINESS TRIP UNTIL THE WEEKEND so I have to wait until he's back to play the last two episodes. UGH..... but hey at least my Fuck Your Depression Lamp is showing up today.

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Going 20 MPH on the damn highway

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 13:19:55 GMT

One of my personal rules of thumb when writing is if at any point I feel bored when writing something, I need to cut it. Because if I'm feeling bored, there's a massive chance that readers will also feel bored. This has only happened a handful of times in my recent works and honestly? I'm grateful it happened, because I ended up figuring out way more interesting solutions to either move along the plot or reveal lore/information.

This is more or less how I tackle pacing, because there is no one-size-fits-all pacing. Shorter and quicker isn't always necessarily better. Sometimes those longer and more drawn-out scenes feel like they're over in a blink because you're that engrossed in what's going on. Thus pacing relies on the story itself and what's happening in the narrative. Action scenes are paced different from heartfelt confessions. Hell, not every smut scene is paced the same way. There are so many variables at hand, but I do feel it boils down to "is it interesting to engage with: yes or no?" If yes, then you're probably fine pacing-wise. If no, then you've got your work cut out for you.

And as an adult with a full-time job and bills to pay, I don't have time to sit around and waste my time with a game/book/show/whatever with abysmal pacing. That said, it genuinely blows my mind knowing I can play two separate games (Until Then and Pentiment) for roughly the same amount of time and get wildly different experiences based on the pacing alone.

( Read more... )

Anyhow, I decided to have Andreas mention that Martin Luther has some pretty neat ideas while having dinner with a bunch of monks. I'm sure that'll go over swell for the remainder of the game!

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Bleh

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 18:02:32 GMT

( Just word vomiting some random thoughts. )

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You're Not Broken

Thu, 02 Oct 2025 12:26:21 GMT

I can't speak for all creative types, let alone writers, but I feel there's a common sentiment most of us hold: it sure would be nice to pour our hearts into our art and have that resonate so profoundly with someone on this planet that it inspires them, one way or another.

I'll be honest - I've kinda written off that ever happening to me, so long as I keep writing fanfic, anyways. Besides, all of us fic writers are here bc we were already inspired by something else. Plus we're doing it for free in our downtime. It's genuinely not that serious. I usually compare it to food. Not everything needs to be a gourmet meal; sometimes you need a bag of cheap chips to devour on the kitchen floor at 2 AM. But also you should probably not live off of Just Chips, yeah? Food is food and we all have different preferences/cooking skill levels.

Still, I'm just cooking food in my home kitchen. I'm under zero delusion that I'll ever reach any level of renown that's comparable to Michelin star restaurants. Especially with the type of fics I tend to write (rarepairs, smaller fandoms). Shit, I'm happy if any of my fics reach double digits for kudos, let alone receive a comment or two.

But then I started writing this fucking fic on June 9th. And people have been overwhelmingly kind and supportive. And I checked Tumblr this morning to find this message that made me cry (affectionate).

( Also it's kinda silly bc the core of this damn fic is just Local Shut-in Wants To Fuck His TV and yet here we are. )

So yeah. Just a lot of feels this Thursday morning. I promise I'll actually shut up about Deltarune eventually and get back to playing other games and reading books and so on... but I'm still flabbergasted by this lightning I caught in a bottle.

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July & August Media Roundup

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 19:10:29 GMT

Me, walking in extremely late with legally distinct Starbucks that went cold a month ago: hiiii.... 🫠

So August was fucking miserable, for a lot of reasons. Work has been work, my apartment ceiling was leaking multiple times (and management was only helpful when my bf called to yell at them after they gaslit me), the general state of the world is giving me consistent acid reflux on top of other shit, I'm sleeping like ass, aaaaand have been watching a social circle of mine go up in flames. Not great. I literally broke down and cried three times on my birthday. Don't recommend.

And September was going reasonably well until I received a really rude comment on my current longfic (and the same person left a similarly weird/rude comment on another reader's comment for some reason) and that's how I started my Monday and I'm trying not to throw my laptop out the window and instead rounding up all the bullshit I played/watched/read in the past couple of months.

( Read more... )

I hope everyone's summer has been doing okay (or winter, depending on where you are). And I hope it's been full of cool things you've read/watched/played/etc! 💖 have a lovely September, gang!

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Luigi would be proud

Thu, 31 Jul 2025 13:39:55 GMT

I'm not gonna spend time rehashing discourse and drama around Borderlands 4 (or the series in general), but I just wanted to say as someone who's chronically ill and thus has to constantly deal with the US' fucked up healthcare system, especially insurance companies, there was something so insanely cathartic about Rafa's character short trailer.

This series means a lot to me, as it started as a way for my boyfriend and I to spend time together when we were still long-distance. Now it's nestled in the same weird category that I lump things like Everything, Everywhere, All At Once and Deltarune into; something about the blend of humor, existential horror, and genuinely raw emotions really resonates with me on every level. I've been hesitant with this latest game, but knew my bf and I would still dive into it day 1. I originally wanted to play Vex (SHE HAS A KITTY), but man. Man. This one guy who depends on corporate bullshit in order to survive, only to flip the script and murder the fuckers trying to take advantage of him? He was handcrafted specifically for me and I'm so excited.

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RE: I've Connected the Dots

Mon, 21 Jul 2025 13:37:40 GMT

> I'm just saying if Florence + The Machine drops even a single before the year is over, I'm gonna fucking explode.

Never mind. Trent Fucking Reznor came charging in with the steel chair bc omg I was not expecting new NIN in 2025. This damn fic really was meant to be, huh? Can't complain. I'm having a blast writing it.

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Girl, Get Behind Me

Thu, 03 Jul 2025 13:48:15 GMT

I've been rewatching Undertale playthroughs as research for my fic, which has been a fascinating time. On one hand, it's nice to experience the game without having to play it; I do genuinely love Undertale and it's an important game, but it's not... always... a fun game to play. Then again, Toby Fox made this over a decade ago and you can tell he's improved in just the first chapter of Deltarune alone. Something about the team RPG setup in Deltarune, paired with Actual Fucking Meters to show you how far you've come with sparing enemies, just works.

On the other hand, I'm noticing details that I previously dismissed during my playthroughs of Undertale and I kinda want to go back in time and throttle past!me for having such opinions, but in past!me's defense, it's hard to appreciate something when your nerves are constantly being plucked.

Anyhow, I'm rambling, so let me get to my point: if people can't appreciate Alphys, they don't fucking deserve Mettaton - sternly worded post to follow.

( The Sternly Worded Post (spoilers for Undertale and Deltarune) )

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June Media Roundup

Mon, 30 Jun 2025 13:33:39 GMT

"Hey, uh... Runic, it's still Jun-" Bold of you to assume I actually did anything after beating Deltarune chapter 4. I wish I was exaggerating. I really fucking do. So on that note, let's just get this out of the way, bc I'm not fooling anyone here lolsob.

( Read more... )

Honestly I shouldn't be surprised that I acquired brainrot for a new gay ship during Pride Month. Everyone should experience that, as a treat! And I hope you all had a lovely June, full of cool stuff to enjoy! 🌈

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Be Horny On Main

Wed, 25 Jun 2025 12:35:02 GMT

I had taken a social media break for about a month back in May bc I was getting immensely stressed out every time I checked bsky. It probably doesn't help that it's a haven for Twitter refugees, for a lack of better words, and thus some Twitter mentality lingers, mostly in that it seems to be a BIG ASK for others to tag their posts appropriately. Tumblr has always been good about tagging for CWs and spoilers, but I took a break from there too just to, you know, have a palette cleanser or something.

But that also lined up well with Deltarune chapters 3 + 4's release date. So I figured I'd come back after I finished that. I could keep socmed apps off my phone and just use my laptop once, maybe twice, a week to check in. And uh. Well. That was great in theory!! But I also can't complain bc the fandom is thriving in a lovely way (at least in my corner of it lol) and it makes me excited to BE a fan.

( Very brief spoiler for Deltarune Chapter 4 + general discussion of sex. )

Anyhow. I'm living my best horny life. And here I thought I'd be the weirdo writing power cords and surge protectors as erotic, but nope. I'm right where I need to be actually.

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I've Connected the Dots

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 13:13:34 GMT

In 2014, I started drafting my Celes/Setzer longfic. Florence + The Machine released the album How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful in early 2015 when I was wrapping up the draft, which had a huge impact on the fic. Garbage also released Strange Little Birds in June 2016 and while that wasn't my fave by them, I do associate it with that fic while I was editing. Same with High as Hope by Florence + The Machine in 2018, when I finally finished editing and posting it.

In 2021, I was really super normal about 13 Sentinels and started my keinatsu longfic. Garbage released No Gods No Masters in June of that year (literally around the time I started draft) and Florence + The Machine released Dance Fever in May 2022, which was substantial for me pushing through the last stretch of writing the draft.

Now it's 2025 and I'm insanely deep in Deltarune Hell. I'm speedrunning what's very likely going to turn into a 50k fic. Garbage released Let All That We Imagine Be the Light on May 30, literal DAYS before chapters 3 + 4 dropped.

I'm just saying if Florence + The Machine drops even a single before the year is over, I'm gonna fucking explode.

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RE: When You Fuck Around and Find Out

Sun, 22 Jun 2025 14:12:19 GMT

"But Runic, why don't you resonate with Kris, who explicitly has they/them pro-"

I DON'T KNOW! :) I GENUINELY! :) DO NOT! :) FUCKING KNOW! :')

I also had this problem with Okino in 13 Sentinels. Did absolutely nothing for me. And yet I resonated with the gender dysphoria/euphoria/whatever implications with BJ than I ever will with Okino.

Actually. You know what. Maybe I just need the gender-fucky character to be a robot. Maybe that's my hang up. I did play FL4K in BL3, after all lolsob.

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When You Fuck Around and Find Out

Sun, 22 Jun 2025 14:06:36 GMT

Looking back on my life, it's painfully obvious I was not cis. I loved dressing up in wild outfits, tho was very distraught when forced to dress as a Disney princess I didn't care about for some party thing as a kid. I had a similar panic attack in a dressing room as an adult while trying on new office work clothes and just hating what I saw in the mirror. God, and the fucking time I visited my dad and his shitty second wife threw out all the summer clothes my mom had just bought for me and purchased new, "more appropriate" ones for me (spoiler, they were Even More Dresses). And I remember the most freeing thing for me clothing-wise was whenever I did theater (literally all of grade school and college) and took on the role of a male character. Of all my years spent acting, I only ever did one (1) female role. And yet it took me until late 2015 to figure out the right words to describe who and what I am. You know, me. The person whose last theater performance was as Dr. Frank-N-Furter in Rocky Horror Picture Show.

It's hard to say what was my actual epiphany back then. I do remember sobbing on the phone while coming out to my bf (when we were still long-distance), terrified he'd leave me, only to be met with overwhelming love and acceptance. I also remember seeing more and more trans people in online spaces along with "they/them" in bios, like huh, what's up with that. And I definitely remember being speechless and flustered when playing Undertale for the first time and flipping the switch on Mettaton. Just as I remember going to Anime Boston in 2016 and the first cosplayer I mustered the courage to ask for a photo of (and fucking ran to them across the Artist Alley) was a Mettaton EX cosplayer.

( Spoilers for a side quest in Deltarune: Chapter 4. )

I don't know where I'm going with this. I just needed to get it off my chest. It's nice to write something that's probably THE most self-indulgent thing I'll ever write and see folks resonate hard with it, bc it doesn't get more self-indulgent than "I'm bestowing you, beloved blorbo, the highest honor anyone could receive: my fucking gender and all the problems (affectionate and derogatory) attached to it."

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Media Roundup: Deltarune

Sat, 14 Jun 2025 12:57:40 GMT

When the first chapter of Deltarune came out, I was hesitant to try it out. Maybe it was best to wait until the game was finished, so I don't have to wait and find out what happens next. That lasted all of a week, if that, and I found myself really enjoying a taste of what the game would be about. Then chapter 2 launched out of fucking nowhere several months after I moved into my new apartment and I could not stop thinking about it. Connecting some of the dots as to what was really going had my brain buzzing. Plus have you seen Queen? Queen is in it and she's fabulous. Also lesbeans. Love my beans.

I had been keeping my eye on any updates from Toby Fox as to when the next chapters would update. I even told my bf that I would likely take time off from work to play said chapters bc A) that's how excited I was and B) jfc I don't trust the Internet enough for me to navigate that shit spoiler-free lolsob. Actually, considering Toby Fox's track record, I was more likely to call out sick bc knowing my luck, an announcement for the new chapters would drop 24 hours beforehand lolsob. Thankfully, it didn't come to that, but also I was NOT expecting to find out via a Nintendo Direct, but here we are.

Anyhow, I replayed ch 1+2 as well as playing ch 3+4 last week. To say I'm still THRUMMING with excitement is a fucking understatement. Short version? I really love this game and it's not only surpassed my love for Undertale, but fucking lapped it.

Long version? Grab a drink and get comfy, because I am NOT normal about ANY of this.

(MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR DELTARUNE CHAPTERS 3 + 4 BELOW.)

( MIKE, the CUT-TEXT, please! )

Fuck me, this is already a wall of text, but man. Man. This game is truly something special. It's funny. It's terrifying. It's hopeful. It's tragic. It's a range of human emotions, the good and the bad, and doesn't hold any punches. But the thing I genuinely love the most about Deltarune isn't even in the game itself. It's reading up on Toby Fox and learning that Deltarune was his first idea, that the ending hit him back in 2012, and that he was overwhelmed with creating it bc it became that big so fast. And thus Undertale came first. And having played that along with each chapter as they come out (along with reading that Toby has to deal with debilitating chronic pain, yet hired more people to help make Deltarune possible), there's just something insanely precious about Deltarune. It's the joy of seeing someone who is brimming with creativity bring their passion project to life and watching him mature in every aspect (as a person, as a programmer, as a writer, as a composer) and see that he does, in fact, get better. At times, it makes me feel like a kid again, running to my TV to play video games instead of doing homework. Other times, it makes me feel less alone in this fucked up world as an adult with their own debilitating chronic illnesses.

And it really makes that one line from ch 1's credits song (don't forget, I'm with you in the dark) really hit home.

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